Jealousy Will Drive You Mad
by XPinkSpiderX
Summary: Mao is a wealthy Count to whom C.C has been promised and Lelouch is C.C's secret lover. Both fight for her love and as problems arise, jealousy ensues. And jealousy, as they say, can drive one mad. Awful Summary! Dx
1. Where the Story Begins

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Code Geass, yadda yadda. But that would be awesome…...

**WARNING! This story doesn't rlly relate much to the anime, I just put the characters in a made up predicament of my own, but c'mon, that's what fanfics are!**

**Spider-chan: **Here's this week's couple I'm obsessed with. But hey, it's adorable! And would be a lot more cannon if Lulu didn't act like A. such a manwhore and B. so cold towards people in general –glares-. Anywho, uhm, here have the beginning of it ^_^ there are some connotations in here that reflect the musical "Moulin Rouge", which perfectly illustrates the type of jealousy that I want to occur here (I don't own that either btw!). Because I enjoy jealousy and possession, don't ask why. Rant. Rant. Rant. Let's begin, ne?

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Lelouch POV

My eyes snapped open violently as the sun, shining much too bright, slanted in through the blind on the windows of my room. I groaned slightly, but not too loud, for fear that I would wake the sleeping girl beside me. As the vision became less blurry inside my violet eyes, I inclined my view to my right, where she lay still deep in slumber.

She was beautiful like no one I'd ever seen, with her ivory skin, long green locks, and big amber eyes.

_C.C…_

I smiled as I watched her, her chest gently rising and falling. But she jerked suddenly and I watched as her eyes slowly cracked open.

"Morning." I greeted.

She smiled warmly and snuggled comfortably underneath the covers. "Morning."

I never took a moment like this for granted. After all, I knew that I didn't use to be so fortunate to wake up with her in my bed in the morning.

She sat up straight in bed, rubbing her eyes groggily, her slender body covered up by merely an old shirt of mine. She looked so lovely there, with the sun making her white skin glow. I placed a fluttery kiss upon the shell of her ear, making her giggle.

I wished that moment could go on forever, her with me, loving me, I didn't need anything else. Unfortunately, our time together was limited that morning as it was on any other.

The door to my bedroom creaked open to reveal Suzaku, a good friend of mine and a servant of Count Mao's. He smiled a casual smile at the two of us, his friendly green eyes alit.

"Morning you two." He addressed in his gentle tone.

C.C smiled back at him, "Hello." She said casually.

I, however, didn't smile. Not as though I wasn't happy to see my friend, but, I knew what it meant when he came to see us in the morning. It meant that C.C had to leave me and resume her daily studies and activities.

"It's almost time."Suzaku reminded her, his smile fading because he didn't want her to have to leave any more than I did.

C.C nodded in comply. She hopped off the bed and gathered up her clothes from last night that lay limp on my floor.

Suzaku placed a calm hand on her shoulder. "Ready?" He asked.

"Yes." She replied, and looked over in my direction where I still sat underneath the folds of my sheets.

I nodded, smiling. I would see her later, but still…

"Goodbye." She said, her voice cracking. And yet, she still smiled. She was talented at putting up a front, I'll give her that.

They turned from me and walked out before I could even force the words out of my throat.

"….Bye…" I said quietly to myself.

Then, all too soon, the room was silent. I was alone. No matter who I was with, I was alone without her. But every day, I was required to let her go so that she could go fulfill her daily requirements. And why?

**Him.**

I hated him. There was no way around it. He was the reason that she was secretly miserable on the inside, he was the reason she had to leave me all day until the sun went down, he was the reason she and I had to hide our love affair, and worst of all, he was the reason she could never truly be mine.

Our whole story started with him, actually. If it weren't for him, I actually wouldn't have met her.

And that's where our complicated story begins.

C.C was the daughter of a wealthy family, who, unfortunately, had died many years ago. And though she claimed she couldn't possibly miss people that she barely knew, I could see that she felt as lonely as I did.

C.C had found out after her parents' death that they had arranged a marriage for her so they knew that she would be well taken care of. She was promised to a good family friend of theirs, Count Mao was his name. He was extremely rich and arrogant, almost childish at times, but he had an unconditional love for C.C like no one ever had.

But, in order to ensure that C.C was perfect marriage material, her parents made sure that she studied and became very smart, like any _countess_, I cringe at the thought, should be. That's where I came in, I was hired to teach C.C about literature and the arts. I must admit, when I walked into that room where she sat waiting for me, waiting for her new teacher and new lessons to begin, I wanted her right then and there.

Before long, I'd actually gotten C.C to open up to me. She was and always has been a shy and detached person, because she had never truly been taught to be someone otherwise. And all her life, that's all she ever would be, whatever someone wanted her to be. But, I showed her that it's okay to be your own person, and not to let other people define you, that, sometimes, you have to do things for yourself as well.

One day, I'd had it. I'd had enough of looking at her, day by day, trying to mentally train myself not to grab her, hold her, look at her beautiful face and piercing eyes. One day, I confessed that I loved her and, if she was that uncomfortable with it, she could send me away and have me replaced, but she didn't. She liked my company, she needed me. She couldn't stand the feeling of being alone without me. She couldn't quite explain it, and she knew she was wrong for turning her back on her fiancée and her family's wishes, but she knew that somehow, as unfamiliar with love as she was, that she'd had feelings too. So, naturally, I went with my instinct. It first started with a few heated kisses that we would slip in-between sessions, and got to a point where I had to have her, even if it was a secret, I knew I had to. I needed her just as much.

And at times, I can't help but think it would have been much easier on the both of us if she had turned me away.

Thus, she and I began a secret affair. Sometimes I would end sessions early just to taste her warm flesh in my mouth. Sometimes she would even blow off plans that she'd had with the Count for dinner and such occasions, claiming she and I had to "practice literary devices" and things. And, stupidly, he fell for it every time.

Every night, she would come into my bedroom and sleep with me, only to wake the next morning, show up at her classes prompt and tidy as though she had done nothing wrong, and start the cycle over again. And Suzaku, my dear friend, watched out for C.C and I. Even though he was a loyal servant to the Count, he kept our affair a secret and even got up every morning to come and fetch C.C so that she had enough time to sneak back into her room before getting ready for her classes. Without Suzaku, much of this wouldn't be possible. And I couldn't thank him enough. Loyal as he was, he was willing to give more devotion to me than he ever could to the Count.

The Count liked me as well, I was one of his favorites, he claimed once. He had no clue that I was betraying him in every way possible. I was supposed to be helping his future bride in her studies, and I secretly caressed her and felt every curve and chamber of her body in the late hours of the night. However, I wasn't sorry. Not for one damned minute. And why?

Because no matter how much she and I loved each other, no matter how many times we secretly had sex, no matter how many times she told me not to be jealous, I couldn't stand his existence. Because I knew all too well that he could have her in a way that I couldn't. Though she seemed mine in every way possible, she was going to be his _wife_. The thought of their marriage still burns holes in my chest.

That is why, every morning, I am both happy and sad. Happy, because I know she loves me, and bitterly sad because I know that she isn't mine. She doesn't love him, but she won't allow herself to leave him.

I balled my hands into fists and bit my bottom lip to prevent an outburst.

I knew that I should get out of bed and start getting myself ready for her session with me today.

Still channeling my ire and looking for some clothes of my own to wear today, I try and remember the advice that my princess had given me:

"_Please, please, Lelouch…don't be jealous…."_

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**Spider-chan: **That marks the end of Chapter one! ^-^ Just so yous know, I am aware of the fact that ppl are kinda out of character, but that's just how I'm making them! This story is gonna be a long one, but I actually have plot in this one! :D I hoped you liked it and will continue reading, I hope to post Chapter 2 soonish! –prays- You click review button nao? :3 Do it for me, C.C, Lulu!! Just do it!!


	2. Not So Bright Future

**Spider-chan:** Here we go with Chpater 2! There are two reasons I have found the time to complete this: 1. I am madly in love with this pairing right now, and therefore, have lots of inspiration to write 2. I have absolutely NO LIFE! :D This excites me, seeing as I usually only so the short one-shot deal. I have an actual story…with plot! :O lol, anywho, let's resume ^-^ thank you for the reviews and feedback, you people are the best ever!

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C.C POV

I sat, unmoving in my seat, waiting for my sessions in mathematics to come to an end. As the teacher droned on about numbers, and equations, and solving in terms of x, I stared blankly at the problems in my book, my mind thousands of miles away. The days until my marriage were winding down all faster and faster, and it seemed like my world was turning more gray and dark as each moment I had as an unmarried woman were coming to an end.

Normally, this wouldn't be anything big for me. Do something that I knew would make me miserable, but would please everyone else? Not a problem. However, I've made things much more complicated than that. And it is all my fault for agreeing with it. They had told me that my teacher was a young one, my age even, but I had never pictured him being quite so…different than I expected.

He was beautiful, for a boy. With his short, raven-black hair and gorgeous and kind violet eyes. He wasn't quite like anyone I'd ever seen, and though I'd never felt what a "crush" felt like, my cheeks turned an unhealthy red when I saw him and his class soon became my favorite of the day. One day, when I had least expected it, he had confessed to me that he had "feelings" for me. I was taken by shock. No one, other than my duranged finacee had **ever **told me that they felt strongly towards me. It made me…happy.

I did something selfish, something unlike myself; I went for him, and thus far, I'd never looked back. All the while, I knew it was wrong. I knew that in his own way, Mao did love me uncontrollably. In Mao's eyes, I was his whole life. That was why, no matter how selfish I was, I knew I could never even try to leave or refuse my marriage to him. I knew quite well that I didn't love him, and that was how I comforted Lelouch, but I knew that I was already forever bound to him.

_I'm so selfish, Lelouch. I'm sorry for all the pain that I cause the two of us. So selfish….._

Reality hit me hard as the hand of my teacher rapidly shook my body. I snapped back into it.

"Miss, class is over." He said to me gently, smiling.

I nodded and stood out of my seat, carrying my book and other supplies with me as I left the room.

I walked down the long, outstretched hallway where the marble was so grand, you could hear my footsteps from ages away. After awhile, I stopped trying to count all of the windows I passed by as well. I let myself wander about mentally, just letting my feet do the work from now on.

I sighed audibly, thoughts of my own selfishness still plaguing my mind. Worst of all, I could never tell Lelouch how I felt. Although he understood me better than any other living creature, it was better for me to express my feelings of love with him better than my feelings of regret. I was good at hiding things. This was just another task.

Lost once again in the depths of my thoughts, I hardly noticed when I had bumped right into my fiancee, the man with the short white hair, childish demeanor, pale skin like mine, and harsh eyes the tint of red wine.

I grunted as my body made an impact with his and looked up into those cold eyes.

As usual, the second his saw me, his face lit up with enthusiasm. "C.C!! How are you today, my love?!" He shouted giddily, a wide grin set upon his features.

I smiled a half-fake smile at him. "Good morning, Mao. I'm doing quite fine, thank you." I responded in the politest tone I could muster.

Mao frowned a pouty frown like a child whose candy got taken. "You really should learn to call me names like "honey" or "sweetheart" or "dear." I _am_ going to be your husband." He contradicted.

I nodded, still maintaining that fake smile. "I'll have to work on that." I agreed.

He was beaming again. "I simply can't wait, you know. For the day I can officially make you mine. We'll have the nicest time together, I promise! I'll love you and take care of you, and we'll be so happy, you'll see!"

His declaration made the fake, outer shell of me appear happy, and the inside of me feel weighed down like nothing I'd ever felt.

"Your parents were right in entrusting you to me, they simply _knew_ I would care for you! Imagine, just imagine if they had promised you to someone else! I can't even imagine how miserable you would be!" He continued on.

He was so sure of himself, so blinded by his own affection, he was as oblivious as a child.

"You wouldn't do that, though, would you? You would never hand your child off to be married to the wrong person! Someone they didn't love and who would mistreat them, you would make a great mother, wouldn't you? I know you would! I can't wait for our children someday! -sigh- I suppose its all a matter of waiting."

Those words rang inside my ears until I felt my pulse quicken. Me? With Mao's children? Oh God, I couldn't even imagine that!

"Y-yes…it should b-be wonderful…" I stuttered, at a huge loss of words and still overcome by the shock of hearing his speech about our life together.

Before he could say another word, I finished my sentence. "But I have to get to my next session before I'm late. I'll see you later…dear." The last word I could barely choke out.

He grabbed my arm and pulled me against him in one swift motion, capturing me in his grip. Then, gently, he kissed my cheek softly.

After he released me, my head was officially spiraling.

Fortunately, my next session was with Lelouch and Mao had caught me no more than a few feet away from Lelouch's session room.

I felt unsteady in my movement, my legs knocking together as I walked those few feet to his room. After all that, I couldn't even describe how I would feel being around Lelouch.

I reached the door and gripped the handle, trying to compose my stamina along with my clouded mind. I turned the handle slowly and walked in, awaiting to see my lover standing there, expecting me to be completely fine and to fit in his arms perfectly. And that's what I wanted, that's who I was going to be for now, because it was easier to pretend it all never happened.

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Lelouch POV

I stood in my room, gazing around every so often, awaiting her arrival. I knew that her last session had just ended and she had to be on her way to me, so it was all a matter of time.

But, outside my door, I heard a voice. A loud, annoying tone that angered me to no end to hear it. Count Mao.

"_C.C!! How are you today, my love?!"_

So he had managed to stop her right before she came to see me, no irony in that situation. I heard C.C's gentle voice answer him.

"_Good morning, Mao. I'm doing quite fine, thank you."_

Things went quiet for a few minutes, I couldn't make out the words being said. Normally, it wasn't like me to eavesdrop, but my curiosity got the better of me. I stood straight up against the far wall of my room, the one directly adjacent to the door and listened as best I could.

" _I simply can't wait, you know. For the day I can officially make you mine. We'll have the nicest time together, I promise!_ _I'll love you and take care of you, and we'll be so happy, you'll see!"_

His words made my blood boil. A growl resonated in the back of my throat, but I refused to release it. He just made me so angry, I couldn't describe it. I could say that he didn't deserve her, but he did. He absolutely did. And maybe that's another thing that made me so irate about him, I _knew_ that he loved and and would take excellent care of her, that she only belonged to me because I marked her body as mine, she _rightfully _belonged to him.

But it wasn't fair!! I loved her too, she was **mine** too! She should marry **me**, she truly loved **me**! But because I didn't have as much money as the Count, or as much fame or glory, I wasn't even close to being a factor in this. No, I had made myself a factor by being her secret lover, but how long could that truly go on? Every single day she getting closer to marrying him, and every day I felt her slipping further away from me. And if I didn't have her, I truly didn't know what I had. I couldn't breathe, couldn't think without her.

1,001 different emotions and thougths ran through me so fast, I started to shake violently. My breaths became short and erratic, I had to get a hold on myself. I'd lost control of what was happening to me, and I'd also lost my place in their conversation. All I could think about was him marrying the woman of my dreams and stealing her from me, just as I had secretly stolen her from him. And the very contemplation of her being married to someone else stabbed at me mercilessly. Worst of all, it was inevitable. They _were_ to be married no matter how sick it made me inside.

I listened up again, waiting for one of them to talk. Naturally, it was the Count. But I was nowhere near prepared for what he said next.

"_You wouldn't do that, though, would you? You would never hand your child off to be married to the wrong person! Someone they didn't love and who would mistreat them, you would make a great mother, wouldn't you?! I know you would! I can't wait for our children someday! -sigh- I suppose its all a matter of waiting." _

Children?! He wanted C.C to carry his child?! That was something I'd never even fathomed, not for one second. It made me so sick to my stomach, I couldn't see straight for a moment. I couldn't picture my C.C going through all the pain of giving him a child, and the way that he would have to impregnate her in the first place, I didn't _want_ to think about. The way he would have to be inside her, explore her body the way I first had, melt and release with her sweetly. It couldn't be! I couldn't have that! I'd rather die than have him take her body in such a way, in the way I did. Because I knew too well, the minute he would, all the ties she had to me would be broken. Making her body mine was the only way I could ever have her, and I **never** wanted him to take that, **ever**. That was the only way C.C still belonged to me…

She sounded nervous, and I couldn't make out her frightened murmurs, but I could tell from her tone that it scared her as much as it did me. I don't think either of us were ready for that just yet.

I took my back off the wall and tried to regain composure, she would be entering any minute and I couldn't let her see me so broken up, so torn.

But I couldn't help it. It all made me so nauseous.

I took in two deep, calming breaths and stood there patiently, waiting for her to come in and see me. I didn't know what to expect from her. Was she going to look taken back, or was she going to take on one of her facades and pretend she was alright?

That much I wasn't sure. And I couldn't help but wonder, as the door swung open to reveal her seemingly calm face, did she notice that I happened to break out in a cold perspiration? Or that my fists were now clenched so tight, my nails dug and dented the skin of my palm?

She and I weren't ready for her future, not at all. And I had no clue how to fix this.

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**Spider-chan: **End of chapter 2!! –victory screech- Thankfully, I was also able to complete this due to a snow day :] Things are starting to get more tense now, I can't wait to start writing more! Pwease review? I'm off to go write more and obssess over this pairing! –skips off-


	3. Lelouch Slips

**Spider-chan:** You people are the greatest, greatest, greatest!! :'D Thank you very much for your feedback, it makes me smile so much! No ranting this time, I'm just gonna dive right into it.

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Lelouch POV

A few days had passed since that little…incident. I couldn't control what had come over me that moment, it just sort of…happened. I suppose that day I could finally see just how much my heart was starting to break. But I wasn't the only victim in this.

I held my literature book proudly in my hand and walked around the room as I discussed today's lesson with C.C.

"In Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, the usage of sonnets and dramatic structure can be frequently found." I dictated and saw her scribble a few notes down on a piece of paper. Though I knew all too well, her mind was as far away as mine was at the moment. I couldn't blame her, who wanted to learn about Shakespeare at a time like this?

She was just as badly wounded by this as I was, perhaps even more, seeing as she was entrapped in a loveless engagement. Never in all my days had I seen someone so unselfish, giving up her own happiness to fulfill her parents' wishes and to please everyone else, especially Mao. She knew how much Mao loved her and respected it, whereas I hated him for it.

I tried my hardest up to the point. I'd done my best to keep my promise to C.C, vowing that I would never grow jealous of her fiancée, and how could I? Until now, I'd never looked back. I'd never considered that one day, she would no longer be in my bed, nor the warmth of my arms, but of that of another man. And I'd certainly never imagined her having someone else's child.

But now, with each new day, I hated his very existence more and more. I knew that he loved her as much as I did, and that although she was mine, she was his too. I still had to remind myself, as I fought off the urge to try and wring his neck with my bare hands, her heart was something that she'd promised to never share.

"_Please, please, Lelouch…don't be jealous…"_

If only, my love, you knew how hard that was for me now. Up until this point, I'd never realized that sharing you would be the hardest thing I'd ever have to do…

"That should be about it for today." I announced. Yes, the session wasn't over for another 10-15 minutes, but I had to talk to her.

C.C was looking at me with curious, melancholy eyes. She hadn't been the same since that day either.

I stood beside her and grasped her cold, thin hand in mine.

Before I spoke so much as a word to her, she grabbed me by the back of my neck and pulled me towards her, our lips brushing together in a firm contact. I was a bit taken back at first, but went with my feelings. I couldn't have her forever, but I had her now, this moment, with our bodies intertwined at the lips.

I tangled my hands in her long green hair, pulling her into me harder, closer, or hips grinding in rhythm. I liked the feeling of her form pushed up against mine, this heat and passion was something I'd really missed since that day. Yes, we'd continued our nightly actions since then, but lately, it had felt much more tense than loving, which was not what I wanted at all.

I nibbled on her bottom lip, demanding entrance, and she eagerly allowed, giving my tongue access to lock with hers in a heated battle. She groaned into me slightly, leaning backwards against her desk for support. Hadn't it been for my restraint, I would have taken her right then and there, right on that desk. That sounds dirty, I know, but you have no idea how much I needed her when she was mine and vulnerable in my arms.

She broke away suddenly, taking in large, slow breaths. I pulled away as well, catching my own breath. I smiled, feeling good for the first time in a very good time, but that soon melted away.

I looked back into those amber-esque orbs of hers, only to find them overflowing with tears. I had **never**, in all my years of knowing C.C, had seen her cry once. And now that I did see it, tears streaking her face, her body shaking rapidly with anguish, it felt like someone had slapped me hard across my face. It made my heart feel like it was in a knot.

My mouth had to have been in a perfect "o" of shock. I brought her into a delicate hold, hugging her shaking body against mine. I leaned my head down so it rested upon hers; I had to be the strong one here. Because, for once, she didn't pretend to be okay, and that made me feel almost…confidant. Like perhaps she felt that she could completely be herself around me.

Still, it killed me to seeing her crying. So hurt, so helpless. Was this how she was going to feel after I handed her off to Mao? If so, I didn't see how I could ever bear it.

"Please, love…" I whispered through her beautiful hair, "Please don't cry."

She stiffened slightly and pushed away from me. "You're right, I'm s-sorry." She sniffled, wiping her eyes, "I shouldn't be crying."

I shook my head in disagreement. "No, no. That's not what I meant. I want you to be able to feel whatever it is you need to feel when you're around me, I just can't stand to see you cry."

She sniffled once more and smiled slightly, looking into my honest purple eyes. "Thank you, Lelouch. You have no idea how much you really do help me through some of this." She said gratefully.

My eyes grew downcast. "I caused this." I rebuttled.

It was her turn to shake her head at me. "_We_ caused this."

"Even so, I can't tell how _we_ are going to get out of this." I puzzled.

She stayed quiet for a few moments, not wanting to say what was on her mind. It had to be said anyway. "We won't."

I hung my head slightly. Perhaps a sign of defeat, perhaps to show my anger and bitter disgust, I don't know.

"However, for the time being…" She trailed off as she lifted my chin to make perfect eye contact. "…I'm yours…" She finished and leaned in for another kiss.

I inclined towards her as well, our lips inches apart just before I heard the door swing open.

In that split second, C.C had actually managed to move several inches away from me while I stood there, dumbfounded.

"How goes the lesson?" That annoying, incessant tone rang in my ears.

If it hadn't been for the front that even I had managed to keep around the Count, I would have punched a hole through the desk. _Damnit, damnit, damnit!!_

"Wonderfully." C.C replied, smiling and looking straight at him while my back still faced him.

I exhaled, hard, and turned and faced him my own self. He was grinning, naturally, and looking at C.C like…he loved her.

"Excellent, my dear!" He exclaimed. He was very excitable about whatever she did.

"I was teaching her the elements of Romeo and Juliet." I explained, and looked at him blankly. It was then that I realized the complete irony in this entire situation.

Romeo and Juliet was the tragic story of star-crossed lovers, kept apart by hatred and social distinction. And though they were never supposed to even interact, by fate, they met unexpectedly and fell madly in love. However, they'd had to keep their love a complete secret from everyone, including their feuding families. All the while, Juliet's father has promised her off to Paris, a rich young suitor of hers. Juliet would rather die than marry Paris, or betray her lover, but simultaneously, she is unsure about what to do.

It made so much sense when thought about! If I was to be her Romeo and she my Juliet, then Mao was certainly the Paris in the situation. The comparison was so realistic, it made my head spin.

Paris truly loved Juliet and was literally 'perfect' for her in the eyes of most, and was the sworn enemy of Romeo, who also fought for Juliet's love.

My Juliet is in the same predicament as the fictional character, trapped in a love triangle that is only one-sided. And I, her Romeo, despise Count Mao, the Paris in our affair.

As I stood there, figuring this all inside of my head, C.C was in the arms of Mao, who had sweetly demanded a hug from his lovely fiancée. I stared at them mindlessly, feeling my heart break even more as he slipped his lips against hers.

Juliet…you don't love him, you love **me**, that much I know. But why do I still hate him so much?! Why am I getting so jealous of…of Paris?!? You've always been mine, but now I'm getting envious and angrier all the time. You're slipping away from me, Juliet…

After he had broken their kiss, he smiled widely at me. Like he was mocking me in a way, like he'd won. Bastard…

But, he didn't know he was winning anything. He didn't know he was stealing my Juliet from me, he'd never considered it. In his mind, nothing else mattered because he knew he'd already won the day she was promised to him.

"I'd never liked that story, you know. Romeo and Juliet. It was too sad and dramatic for me. Plus, the author went about it all wrong!" The Count seemed to be speaking to me.

Although anger was literally pulsating through me at the moment, I spoke back in a calm demeanor.

"You can't be serious, sir. Romeo and Juliet is a beautiful and sad tale." I argued.

Mao shook his head, as if he _knew_ he was right. "Juliet should never have even gone for that Romeo. After all, their families hated one another. And for another thing, Paris was perfect for her, and he had all the love and riches she could desire, not to mention title." He stated.

Once again, how ironic it was that he would argue on Paris' favor. **His** favor.

I was almost certain that my eyes had melted into a glare. I couldn't stand this man, he made me so goddamn frustrated! I hate you, Paris. I, Romeo, want to kill you. There was no getting around that, I wanted him dead. My life would be so much easier, much less stressful if he was just out of the picture.

"I mean, c'mon, it's no wonder thing didn't work out! Juliet was acting foolish! Why wouldn't she want to marry him? He was ideal for her in every way." He continued.

Anger was bubbling in the pit of my stomach. He had no clue when to just stop talking. I was so angry, I was about to fulfill my malicious fantasy of strangling him.

I didn't mean to act so stupid, to lash out in such a way. But it was all starting to close in on me. The ironic metaphor of Romeo and Juliet that I was in, the inevitable loss of C.C, my hatred that I harbored for him, my heart breaking, the sick feeling in my stomach, the thought of C.C never being mine again, my tongue just spilled out some words.

Oh, I'd answered his question. And I screamed so loud, I probably woke the dead.

"Why?! –sickened chuckle- . . . BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T LOVE **YOU**!!!!!" I bellowed angrily, pointing my index finger at him for emphasis.

I had caught my mistake after it was far too late. I hadn't meant to say it…like that. I'd been mistaking her for my Juliet and him for Paris for such a long time in my head, I'd mixed their situation with reality.

C.C's face fell completely, a shocked and frightened look upon her face. And the Count, he finally started to see things clearly, this I could tell. Because he childish eyes now seemed clouded over hatred and realization.

"…Him." I attempted to correct myself. "Juliet doesn't love him." It was far too late to turn back now.

Stupid, stupid, stupid! Why did I have to do that?!

I, too, grew scared now. The Count was now realizing the reasons why C.C liked my class the best, why she sometimes stayed late after her sessions, why she would never join him for dinner or other late night goings-on, and why I turned a sickly pale when I saw him hold or caress her.

In a mere 10 seconds, I had managed to destroy all that C.C and I had created together. And possibly, the Count may never allow me to see her ever again.

In a mere 10 seconds, I'd slipped up and revealed **everything**. I didn't know what to say, what to do, I just stood there frozen, hating myself for ever opening my mouth in the first place.

Juliet, I've just made things a thousand times worse for us…

"_For never was there a story of more woe than that of Juliet and her Romeo."-Shakespeare._

--

**Spider-chan**: I am so happy to be at this point! This is where things start to get extremely juicy!! Once again, I got another snow day, so I was able to finish this while procrastinating an English assignment, but to hell with it! is a million times more important than any 2 page reflection Xp. And here I'd promised no ranting, lol. I'm a creature of habit, as it were. Chapter 4 will be coming soon, I promise! Please remember to keep reading and reviewing! I love you all!! Bye-byess ^-^ 


	4. The Count's Plan

**Spider-chan: **Third consecutive snow day in a row, here! And I am pumped because of how far I am getting in this. Lulu and C.C are officially like heroine to me, I've been favoring so many fanfics about them as well as vids on youtube, it would make your head spin :D –awkward cough- Let's get this thing going, shall we?

--

Suzaku POV

I had never seen the Count like this in my entire lifetime of servitude to him. This evening he came in with a scowl fixated upon his features and his happy disposition was nowhere to be found. It frightened me to see him like this. His tone was bitter and he couldn't sit down for more than 30 seconds before getting up, pacing in angry circles, and sitting back down.

I was too afraid to even speak to him; I knew something had gone terribly, terribly wrong. But it was when Mao had ordered the rest of his servants to leave except for me that I truly felt worried.

Mao sat down calmly, placing his face in his hands in an attempt to relax himself. He exhaled two deep breaths just before looking up and motioning for me to approach him.

I obeyed and approached the hysterical Count. Perhaps he just wanted to talk; Aside from being his servant, he also held me in high regards as his confidante.

"Suzaku, you really can't trust **anyone**, can you?" He asked of me, whining slightly.

It was almost funny how many people the Count thought to be loyal to him were actually conspiring against him. However, I said nothing about that. Letting him hear what he wanted to would hopefully aid his calmness. "That's not true, sir. There are plenty of people you can trust. Many people have great respect for you, you should know that."

Then it hit me, the only thing that could possibly have affected him in such a way had to have dealt with C.C…

_Damnit, Lelouch! What did you do!?!_

I played dumb however. "Sir, has something happened to make you act like this? Who has done you wrong?" I sounded as sincere as I could, though I was panicking on the inside for my friend.

"It's C.C! She's been fooling around with that teacher of hers, Lelouch, behind my back! And worst of all, she's hidden it from me all this time! How could she do that to me?!?" He shrieked.

The shocked face I had on wasn't just me playing pretend. He knew **everything**! Oh, no…

"You're kidding!" I gasped. "That doesn't seem like her…are you sure?" I had to give it a shot. Maybe if I convinced him it wasn't true…

"Oh, I'm sure. I heard it straight from that bastard's mouth. He said that C.C didn't love me, and that's when things became crystal clear to me. I realized why C.C never spent nights with me and why she always seemed to be around him more than any other teacher of hers! I just simply can't believe it! My C.C has betrayed me!!" Mao's hysteria began to take over again.

I tried to push the envelope once more. "Maybe that's not what he meant. You know Lelouch, he doesn't think sometimes. And besides, C.C certainly wouldn't do that. She loves you! And I know for certain that Lelouch would never take advantage of your trust like that."

Mao stopped carrying on for a moment, musing to himself. Finally, he spoke up. "You know what, Suzaku? You're absolutely right."

I didn't particularly like the glint in his eyes.

"C.C _does_ love me, I'm positive she does! So then, this must all be Lelouch's doing…" He glared unexpectedly.

Damnit! There was just no getting through to this man…

"To think, that filthy common trash laying his hands on _my _C.C! He must have her in some sort of predicament, perhaps he is so convinced that she loves him that he forces himself on her! Or maybe he refuses to pass her in her literature studies unless she has sex with him! Ohh, that filthy barbarian! And my poor C.C!! How dare I mistrust my love?!" He went on, more dramatically than needed.

I didn't know what to say. Anything I tried to tell him, he would just twist into his own form of thinking.

"It's not as though I'm a jealous person, Suzaku…" He confessed to me, fists clenched tightly, "I just don't like it when other people TOUCH MY THINGS!!!" he'd snapped. And /I couldn't help but wonder how many sick mental images of Lelouch touching and being inside his precious fiancée happened to be flooding his subconscious at this moment.

I was a bit taken back by this outburst, but I stood my ground firmly.

"I understand completely, sir." I said with a reassuring nod.

"Don't think ill of me, Suzaku. I'm typically not like this, but, I will do whatever it is I have to in order to keep my C.C away from that demon!" He cursed.

Suddenly, a cheshire cat grin spread across his mouth. I didn't like it, not one bit. He looked like he had just concocted something horrible inside that mysterious mind of his.

"Suzaku, how long will it take you to deliver a message to C.C?" He inquired suddenly.

I blinked. "Um…well…n-not very long…" I was reluctant to respond.

"Wonderful! Then I need to ask a favor of you!" That giddy tone of his had returned.

I remained silent, patient for what I had to do.

"I want you to tell C.C of a plan I have for her. Tomorrow night, she **will** join me for dinner. And later on, she will sleep with me. If she refuses to do either, I will have that rat Lelouch killed." He announced.

My mouth gaped open. If C.C refused to have sex with the Count, something I knew she dreaded, Lelouch would…

Gulping, I nodded. "Yes, sir. I'll go and find her now…"

"Thank you!" He called after me, smiling victoriously to himself.

I walked through the halls like a zombie. I couldn't believe what I'd just heard! I had no idea how to break this to them…

If she refused, he'd die. If she accepted, she would fully be the Count's property; Lelouch would be crushed and lose everything. That Count, he knew what he was doing for an oblivious twit.

My eyes landed on C.C, who was quietly wandering through the hall, making her way to Lelouch's room no doubt.

"C.C!" I called in a somewhat whisper.

She turned upon hearing my voice, surprised to see me, and looked at me questioningly.

"Suzaku? …What is it? Oh! You don't look alright! Is something wrong?" Her face turned to that of worry upon seeing my pained face. I really hated myself for having to be the one to tell her this.

I hung my head sorrowfully.

"Miss C.C, …we need to talk…"

--

**Spider-chan:** There you go! Finished in one night! Daang, those snow days make me feel productive! ^_^ I think this is perhaps the shortest chapter I've written, but it's quite vital. Thanks to you all who have read/reviewed/favored this story! You guys are another reason I have so much inspiration. I'll be working on Chapter 5 hopefully tomorrow. Again, review, keep reading, and may LuluxC.C always be with you!


	5. Breakdown

**Spider-chan: **Yay, Chapter 5! Bring on the trumpets!! Unfortunately, it's a little sad :c

--

Lelouch POV

"What?!?!" I shouted, praying I didn't hear it right. I shook her by her shoulders to punctuate my scream.

C.C bit her bottom lip and quivered uneasily in my hold. She gave a mere nod as tears pricked at the corners of her eyes.

I released her from my grip, eyebrows furrowed, and let my face fall into my hands. I breathed shallowly, taking spasmodic breaths in and letting them go much too quickly. "I can't believe this…" I exhaled.

C.C was crying now. I could tell from her quiet sniffles and inconsistent breathing.

"I'm so sorry. This is my fault." I was fighting tears back myself. And thus far, I wasn't doing too well. It just wasn't like me to cry.

"No. No, it's not. We're both to blame here." C.C whimpered, sympathetically placing her hand on my shoulder.

I took my face from my palms. "**I'm** the one who told him!!"I didn't mean to make it sound like I yelled at her, I just snapped.

She fell silent for a few minutes and I couldn't take it anymore, I allowed the tears to flow down my cheeks ceaselessly. I thought tears were a sign of defeat, of weakness, but it felt so good…

"I can't stand to see you cry, either." She whispered, leaning her head on my shoulder. "Please, don't cry…" Her tears were soaking the fabric of my t-shirt.

"I can't." I sobbed helplessly. "I can't…"

I saw no way out of this, it was hopeless. By tomorrow night, I'll have lost everything. Count Mao or rather …Paris had won.

"...I wish there was something I could do…" She sniveled, wrapping her arms around me in a one-sided hug.

I looked at her dead-on through my blurry, tear-filled eyes. "I don't want you to sleep with him." I cried.

She shook with a sob. "There's nothing I can do! Do you actually think I want to sleep with him?!" She raised her voice slightly.

I gave no answer, just let warm tears stain my face.

"If I don't do this, then you'll be killed!" She reminded me.

I shook my head in disagreement. "I'd **rather** die than have you sleep with him!" I shot back at her, and wasn't exaggerating.

Her face grew painful, "Stop it!!!" She commanded, choking on her words as she broke down and cried harder.

I knew I shouldn't have said that, I could see clearly that those words cut at her. I hugged her back, breathing heavily into her warm, comforting form.

"I just…don't know what to do anymore…" I felt utterly helpless, as if whining and holding onto her would keep her from being taken away.

"It's no longer a matter of what **you** have to do; this is all about me now." She disagreed.

I clutched her shirt tightly. "I can't lose you!" I bawled.

She pulled me apart from her, forcing me to stand straight up and look into her moist amber eyes.

"I can't watch you die either…" She trailed off. "…I love you…" By that time, her voice was a mere whisper.

I nodded, sniffling. "I love you too." I managed to choke out.

She gently stroked my cheek with her delicate fingers. I understood why she was doing all of this…she was doing this so I could stay alive.

Ironically, from the point where I handed her off to the moment when she officially became his wife, she and I would both die on the inside.

She lay down across my bed, body outstretched, and motioned for me to join.

Though I felt numb, I moved forward, and she pulled me to her.

I lay there on top of her, unmoving for some minutes as the two of us were overcome by an aching silence. Finally, I snaked my arms around her waist, holding her as though she were a doll. A doll I couldn't let go of.

That night we didn't have sex. Matter of fact, within minutes of remaining in that position, our exhausted bodies demanded rest.

When I was still half-awake, I felt her warm body against mine, rising and falling in slumber, the way I liked to see her. While still in that half-conscious state, I wished I could stop time somehow and live in that moment forever, suspended in the moment where I knew she was still mine and that we were together.

However, I knew this wish wouldn't come true and that this night would pass quicker than any I'd ever experienced.

That night I fell asleep with her in my arms because I knew far too well that we would never be like this again. Just before I closed my eyelids, I bit my lip to prevent any tears that might form. No amount of anger or crying or unconventional love could help avoid what would happen tomorrow night.

Everything was falling to pieces in front of me and nothing I could do would stop it.

--

Next Morning

I refused to open my eyes even though the sun had engulfed the entire room in light. I already hated this day and I did **not** want it to start. However, when I heard Suzaku turn the doorknob and swing the door to my room open, I had no choice but to sit up and rub my eyes drowsily.

Suzaku didn't even make eye contact at first, merely stared at the floor as he spoke in a quiet, melancholy tone. "It's time, Miss…"

C.C got up slowly, feet hitting the floor with a soft 'thud'. I sat up in bed, staring at her with dead eyes that refused to show any emotion at all.

I too crawled out of my bed and watched C.C standing there, as if she didn't know what to do. As if she was…lost.

Then I realized, she was stalling. She had no clothes to gather up seeing as we hadn't had intercourse the night before and therefore, could already be halfway out the door by now, ready to resume her daily routine.

Before I could even react, she rushed over to me and hugged me tightly, sobbing slightly.

With my world crashing down around me, it was hard for me to feel real, to even move my body parts. But, slowly, I draped my arms around her as well, pulling her roughly against me.

Just like last night, I didn't want to let go.

Just like last night, I knew I had to. And now was the time I had to.

I saw Suzaku out of the corner of my eye. His olive green eyes glinted with tears. He cupped his hand to his mouth, body shaking slightly as those tears traced lines down his cheeks.

I felt C.C's hold loosen on me, and I loosened my grip slightly as well, though still not wanting to let go of her.

She leaned close to my ear, her hot breath making me shudder. "I'll always be yours…" She murmured tenderly. "I love you."

And with that, she captured my lips with hers. I pulled into the kiss deeply, not wanting to be disconnected from her.

We broke apart for air, huffing trying to catch our breath.

She turned her back to me, and I could feel the tears stinging my eyes.

"I love you too." I muttered, barely audible. Somehow, I thought she heard me.

She stood beside Suzaku, who had managed to pull himself together, though his eyes were still as moist as mine.

"…Goodbye…" She whimpered.

I felt like I was mourning her death, like she was literally gone in every sense of the word. And in a poetic way, she was.

"Bye." I reiterated, tears trailing down my cheeks.

She was shaking with grief, and feeling like she couldn't take another moment of this sorrow, quickly turned and left.

And that was it. She was no longer my C.C nor my lover. She would never be in my arms again; I would never touch or caress her. To have everything lost in such a small matter of seconds seemed too much for me to handle. I wanted to scream, to cry, to grab one of my dress shoes and smash the mirror in my room with it, to break something in my hands and watch it fall apart just like I was. But, I knew such actions would be to no avail. Anger and fury had gotten me nowhere and they weren't going to fix anything for me now.

Suzaku shot me a pitiful glance just before closing the door to my room. I knew he was torn by this too. He too could do nothing. Just sit back while his two friends became miserable and broken.

I looked down at my arms. My skin was a harmful gray and goosebumps coated me everywhere. Once again, the distress was taking its toll on my body.

I slumped against the side of my bed and fell to my knees, reminding myself to breathe in and out.

I sat there on my knees for support feeling ill, cold, and crying so hard that the room blurred.

_Everything… I've lost everything…_

I'd never imagined losing her would be nearly as painstakingly awful as this was. If I was going to be like this for the rest of my days, I didn't see how I could survive.

"Goodbye, C.C…" I sobbed, holding my throbbing head with my unsteady hands.

Now that the realization of losing all I ever loved was finally setting in, I felt like I was losing myself as well and there was no way to tell if I would ever find myself again.

Sitting in that pathetic position, completely defeated and alone, I felt just like someone would after being in a horrible accident, holding on to their falling out insides.

--

**Spider-chan:** Poor, dear Lulu! Yes, this chapter was full of dramatics, but you haven't seen anything yet. See you next time! Thank you all again.


	6. Breaking Point

**Spider-chan: **Well, thatwas majorly depressing :/ but, I can't take Lulu not being with C.C standing down. This story kills meh Dx but, that's why I must keep continuing. ^-^ And also for the fans like you that take the time to read all these chapters w bless your hearts!

--

That Night

C.C POV

I was wearing my best dress and he was wearing that childish smile of his. Oh yes, this night was _perfect…_

I stared blankly across the dinner table at him.

"What's the matter, my dear?" He asked of me suddenly. "You've barely touched your food."

I looked down at my place filled up with food that grew colder by the minute. I was anxious, scared, nervous, how was I supposed to eat at a time like this? Truthfully, I just wanted it all to be over with.

"I'm afraid I'm not very hungry. I'm far too…excited." I gulped out the last word knowing full well that it was a total lie.

His eyes lit up eagerly. He always did like to win. "As am I." He agreed, "And it only gets more exciting from here."

His words made me uncomfortable. If only he knew how true that statement was…

I cracked a slight smile at him, I had to get used to this. This was going to be my life after all.

"You're so beautiful." He gazed at me lovingly, like a puppy.

My cheeks dusted a faint rose color when he'd said that.

I noticed as I looked at him that his messy white hair obscured my view of his cold eyes. I sheepishly remained silent, I never was one for talking all that much.

He stood suddenly, and I felt his presence behind me before I blinked twice.

I tensed up slightly as I felt his hot breath on the back of my neck. He firmly placed his hands upon my shoulders.

Tremors coursed down my spine. I stood out of my seat and faced him. I wanted this to be over with, but I hadn't prepared myself for how worried I was.

He tangled a strand of my bright green locks around his index finger playfully.

I had to be convincing. I had to make him believe that I truly wanted this. It was the only way…

"I knew you loved _me_, C.C. That Lelouch won't bother you anymore. I promise."

I tensed slightly; his name nipped my ears to hear.

"Yes, dear. I love _you_." My hands were shaking so terribly, my knuckles turned white. I hated lying to someone who cared for me so dearly.

I exhaled heavily as I felt his tranquil hands grasp the lean straps of my red dress and begin pulling them down my shoulder blades.

His tepid lips placed a light, fluttery kiss where one of those straps had been; I groaned slightly at his touch. Exactly what he wanted. He wanted me to feel vulnerable in his arms, to belong to him.

He removed his lips from my shoulder and stroked it gently with his free hand, while snaking his other around my waist, pulling my back into his front.

This was all too familiar to me, but it was nothing like it was with Lelouch. Not at all.

"Perhaps I can have him banished." His voice rang in my ears. I snapped back into reality.

"What?!" I gasped a bit too shockingly.

"…Or killed. I must say, I like that better. Any way to make sure he never touches you again." He added.

My head was reeling. I always knew that Lelouch and I would be separated, but I had no inclination to how agonizing he thought was of never seeing him again. But death?! That, I just could not handle…The very idea of Lelouch dying knifed at my insides.

I'd mentioned earlier that I didn't talk much, but what I very seldomly did was allow myself to cry. As of late, however, my strength in that area had completely fallen through. And especially at that moment, I felt hot tears forming on the interior of my eyes.

I had to keep things together, or at least try. What would the Count think if he saw me like this?

Then, a slight pain formed on the junction between my neck and my shoulder. I realized as the pain grew sharper that it was his teeth. He actually **bit** me on my neck! Hell, he even began to suck on my tender skin in such area. And why? Because he knew it would leave a mark. A mark proving…I was his. Forever.

I groaned faintly. It was when the Count's hands began to shift to my erect breasts that I comprehended how truly dirty I felt when he touched me.

The tears wouldn't cease; they grew and grew in my eyes to the point where I was no longer seeing straight. Everything was coming at me so fast, I thought my head might explode.

I **didn't** want to sleep with him, I **didn't** want to be away from Lelouch, and I absolutely **could not** keep this up anymore. I thought I could try and lie to myself, make things alright for myself, and cope with it eventually. Until now, that had worked. But Lelouch was right, I needed to do things for myself instead of pleasing others or else I'd break.

This was my breaking point. I permitted the warm tears to trail down my pale face. Quietly, I began to sob in the Count's hold.

He took immediate notice of this. Right away, his proud hands fell from my body and shot straight up to my shoulders to turn me and face him.

I wouldn't look, even though I knew the inevitability of it all. I didn't want him to see my tears. My eyes never caught with his, but I knew that even in the room dimly lit by candles and moonlight that he could trace the path that the tears had made from my eyes all the way to where my face ended.

He made no noise, no movement, and it scared me. I didn't know how to plan ahead or what to expect at this moment. Slowly, I raised my head, looking up helplessly into his cold face. At first, it bore no expression. Then, it quickly turned to that of anger.

"You _**do**_ love him, don't you?!?" He demanded in a lowering tone.

I didn't know what to say, what to do. The words were caught in my throat. "I—I…" I stuttered.

"I _knew _it! As soon as I mention putting that damn scoundrel to death, you cry. I see what's been going on here. Everything that bastard confessed to me those days ago were all true, weren't they?!?!?" He growled.

He had never been so harsh and so loud when speaking to me. I still didn't answer, frozen in fear.

"Weren't they?!?!" He reiterated, this time, shaking my violently to punctuate his ire.

When I still didn't answer, he roughly shoved me. Not enough to harm me, but enough to know that he was mad like never before.

"You lied to me." He glared at me, "You made me think that you actually loved me."

Tears came and went ceaselessly. All I could think in my head was "I can't do this…I can't do this…He knows."

The Count was never one for abuse, he wasn't that cruel. Besides, I knew full well that he loved me too much to hurt me in any way. Except for one…

That very weakness of mine was the reason I was in all of this. Why I lied, was crying, and why I was afraid not of what he would do to me…but to Lelouch.

He stopped for a minute, one short moment suspended in time, and then looked at me fiercely, as though he had to gain composure for what he was about to do next.

"One way or another, my dear…I'll have you." He harshly shoved me backwards, where I landed perfectly on a dusty couch.

"…Make no mistake of that." He took a few threatening steps towards me, darkness completely shrouding his eyes. He climbed atop of me and began to literally yank and tear at my clothing, trying to remove it as if he were an animal.

Instinctively, I tried to break apart, moving every which way in defense. It was to no avail, he was too upset, too strong.

This was worse than the sex I had imagined earlier, this was rape.

He pulled my dress halfway down my torso, exposing my upper half to his lustful eyes. He'd already begun to remove his own clothing as well, his dress shirt cast aside on the floor and his good pants partially unbuttoned.

No matter how much I struggled, I couldn't get away. I groaned louder now, not from enjoyment, from desperation. Even though I knew that calling for help was going to do absolutely no good for me.

His sharp teeth began nipping anywhere and everywhere around my exposed skin, grinding the flesh and denting it. His hands grabbed whatever they could, groping my breasts and stroking the lining of my panties.

"S-stop…Stop!!" My voice was growing the volume. I pushed and shoved against him, praying something would work. This was truly terrifying, and it was all happening much too quickly. I felt so disgusting at this point.

"Stop!!!" I cried, literally. My shallow breaths were uneven with his heavy pants and moans.

I was gasping, whining, crying as I felt him all over me. I hated this so much. He forced his mouth onto mine in a one-sided kiss and I yelped against his mouth.

I shut my eyes and just waited for this to be over with. I gave up, what was the point? My horrible thoughts ceased to surrender and his violent touching made me lightheaded. I was out of it.

I continued fighting, however. When he wasn't kissing me, I was yelping and whimpering and any other word to that extent. I must have been so distracted by my own thoughts and actions that I didn't hear the door to the room fly open.

The room was spinning when I lifted my head up to find the source of the noise that entered the private room. I realized that I still wasn't completely naked, nor was the Count, and I saw a swift flash shoot across my vision.

A slapping sound was heard and I watched the Count fall from his position on top of me to limp on the cold floor.

Helplessly and half-dazed, I looked up to see Suzaku looking at me intently, his eyes full of concern.

He tugged gently at my arm and pulled me up, into his protective arms. My body, doll-esque, followed his moves. I yanked at my dress, pulling it up to cover the part of me that had been exposed.

He held me for a few minutes, neither of us moving, nor saying a word, both breathing heavily. Then, he looked at me gave me a solemn look. "I only knocked him out." He explained, "Lelouch asked me to try and keep an eye on you two for tonight, so I made sure I stayed close. That's when I heard you screaming."

My eyes widened. I didn't know I was being so loud.

Suzaku looked at the Count's unconscious form, then back to me. "You have to go. Go back, see Lelouch. I'll take care of everything here." He instructed.

I nodded. I wasn't going to dare defy anyone else tonight. Plus, I **needed** to see Lelouch.

Suzaku smiled. "Good, I'll walk you back to his room."

I kept a stolid façade despite what I'd gone through. "Thank you so much, Suzaku. For everything…"

--

Lelouch POV

My eyes traveled to the world that resumed outside my bedroom window. It all seemed so boring tonight, so much more pointless. I sighed.

I still didn't know what to do from here…

Abruptly, my bedroom door handle 'clicked and opened slowly. And there stood my dear friend Suzaku and my green-haired angel, C.C. But something was terribly wrong, I could see it in her eyes. Plus, I knew that she should have been with the Count.

C.C's eyes grew alit when she saw me, but hastily filled with tears. She dashed over and brought me into a desperate hug. I was taken back, but hugged her to me. It felt so good to have her in my arms again. However, this wasn't how I wanted it.

She was hurt, she was shaking. Something went wrong. I looked to Suzaku for a translation.

"The Count tried to rape her, I stopped him. He's knocked out, cold. At least for now anyway." He clarified.

My nostrils flared in anger, I only hugged my C.C more. How **dare** he?! Especially when she was to be his anyway. He made me sick.

I sustained my feelings this time. "Thank you, Suzaku." I meant it. He'd been so much help. But this was it, I'd had enough of all of this.

Enough crying, enough sneaking around, enough hiding my love for her, enough of that damned Count!

This was **my** breaking point.

"C.C…" I whispered softly in her ear.

She looked to me in response, her beautiful eyes still garnished with tears. I stroked away one of those tears tenderly with my index finger.

"I'm done with this. I'm tired of hiding and I'm tired of the both of us being miserable." I looked at her firmly; even Suzaku seemed interested with what I was going to say.

"That's why I've made a decision…we _must _leave this place…" I announced. If we were to be together, it had to be this way.

--

**Spider-chan: **-pant, pant- Longest chapter by far I believe! Sorry it's taken me so long to update, damned school =.= hope you enjoyed! As usual, it's getting good, so I hope to be updating soonish. Bye-bye for now~


	7. Escape

**Spider-chan:** Well, my lovelies, this is the beginning of the end :c Second to last chapter right here! –sighs of relief from readers who cannot take much more reading- I know, I know, I'll send you all fruit baskets for all the words you've had to process. Anywho, on with the show~~

--

C.C POV

I gasped and caught his eyes. They weren't sad like mine; they held a firmness that I hadn't noticed in a long time. It almost seemed unnatural to me.

Here was my choice: I could stay here, remain miserable for the rest of my days with the man my parents had hand-picked for me to marry, or I could leave with the love of my life and turn my back on it all. Either way, somebody was going to get hurt.

What to do…?

He stood there, poised, awaiting my retaliation. I bit my lower lip in frustration. I really was being selfish, but for the first time, I didn't care as much.

"Yes," I agreed with a nod, "let's go."

Goodbye, Mao. This is it; I'm leaving you for good. I know you love me, I know you would have cared for me, but I could never return such feelings, and you deserved more than that. I'm sorry…

A smile spread across Lelouch's face. He kissed the top of the forehead contently.

"Suzaku." He beckoned the chestnut-haired boy. Suzaku looked to him in response.

"You have been helpful through all of this, and I cannot thank you enough. However, I need you to do us just one last favor…"

--

An hour or so later

I was busy gathering my clothes together and placing them neatly inside my carrying case. I couldn't believe it; I was actually going to leave the bounds of this estate. I was going to be free.

_Free._

It felt so good to think of such a word, I closed my eyes for a moment and meditated on how it would feel. Perhaps a bit nostalgic and unsure at first, seeing as I'd never been away from this life. In the end, though, I couldn't help but see an ideal ending for Lelouch and I.

We would be together, just like we'd always dreamed. We wouldn't have to hide anymore.

Perhaps we could even have a few children. Yes, I could see him taking a liking to that. Matter of fact, we'd actually discussed it before. He'd told me that one day, he would take me as his wife and that if and when I was ready, he wanted to create a family together.

The moment he'd said that, I remembered blushing. It seemed so farfetched and blurry to me, but now, it seemed like maybe things would go according to that plan. Now it seemed all too wonderful and I couldn't wait for it to become my reality.

I exhaled and opened my eyes. I had to hurry up if we were to get out around the expected time frame.

It had been decided that he and I would both gather our things and meet back with one another outside his room in about an hour. Simultaneously, Suzaku would keep an eye on things and make sure that he and I would go unnoticed while we slipped away, never to return.

In some ways, I couldn't wait to turn my back on this place. In other ways, I was saddened. I was sick of being prisoner in my own home, but I was surely going to miss Suzaku. He'd done everything for Lelouch and I and he was one of the greatest friends I'd ever had, even if it came down to comforting me in times when Lelouch wasn't around. Yes, I was going to miss his smile, his friendly disposition, everything. I knew Lelouch would miss him too. They were the definition of lifetime friends and now they were going to be separated for the rest of their lives.

Another thing, I could say that I wouldn't miss Mao, but that would be a terrible lie. After all, Mao had always taken care of me. Always treated me properly, always smiled and showed his affections for me, always…loved me. He wasn't a bad person, just jealous and territorial when it came to me, and I understood that. Though he loved me, my marriage to him was also his right. I would miss Mao's cheeriness, his love…but I couldn't let him plague my mind any longer. I had to put this conflict to rest before anyone else got hurt…

I closed the clasp on my suitcase filled with my various necessities, held it securely in my hand, and left everything else in my room to stay. One thing I brought me was the engagement ring Mao had bought for me so many years ago. Though Lelouch might claim that it would stir up bad memories, it would help me to not feel so homesick about all of this.

I turned out the lights in my room, flooding the room in shadows illuminated in faint moonlight. I shut the door to my room, being rewarded with the satisfaction of never having to set foot in it again. Now was my escape and as I walked through those dreary halls for the last time, I didn't look back.

--

Lelouch POV

I didn't even bother packing anything up. What did I have here? Clothes? Useless. Those can be rebought. The only material thing that I had, I was taking with me. And she would forever be with me after this night.

I stood outside my room, waiting. I realized that this was it; There was no taking back what we were about to do. If we were to ever return, I could be killed for treason, or kidnapping, whatever the justices saw fit. This meant no more pesty Count to deal with, but it also meant that I would never see Suzaku ever again. And I admit, that hurt. But he and I had both agreed, after discussing my plan, that we would rather not see one another than have C.C or I suffer as we were now.

My mind was made up and though it may hurt some, escape was the only way out of all of this. It had to be…

C.C noiselessly made her way over to me, suitcase in hand, ready to run off with me forever. I smiled at the thought. When things were finally in my favor, the word _forever_ had a very sweet connotation to it.

I outstretched my hand to her and she eagerly took it. I walked forward and she followed.

Without a word being said, entwined at the hands, she and I began a walk that would lead us to the rest of our lives.

--

The long, wooden doors stood closed before us. This was it. The word _exit_ had an entirely new sense to it in my mind.

I turned to her and smiled. She returned the favor; however, her smile didn't seem as sincere. Almost like she were lost or in some sort of trance. Seeing as this made the biggest impact upon her, this didn't shock me to discover.

I shifted my hand out in front of me, prepared to push open the door to our freedom. However, I was stopped by the sound of Suzaku's shrill yell.

"LELOUCH!!!!!" He yelled in distress. I didn't like the tone. Nor did I like the sound of quick footsteps approaching us.

I spun around swiftly just as Suzaku rounded the corner and ran up to us. He looked terrified.

"He's…coming." He explained breathlessly.

I felt my pupils grow in apprehension.

"I'm…so sorry…," He huffed, "he got up and left the room. I followed him for as long as I could but…he went in a different direction and I lost him. He's coming, Lelouch. I don't know where, but you HAVE to get out..now!"

I bit my bottom lip and nodded. This wasn't going to be as easy as I thought. At least we would have a head start.

As soon as the thought crossed my mind was the instant that I ironically heard the sound of a gun clicking off its safety directly behind my ears.

I watched a tidal wave of panic sweep over both Suzaku and C.C. I didn't know if I was scared or what, but I stood frozen in place.

I was made positive that I was being held at gunpoint when I felt the cold, sleek metal against the back of my skull.

"Hello…Lulu." The Count's voice chilled my blood. It sounded so sinister, so unlike him. Apparently he wasn't the only one who had overplayed his hand.

Well, if he thought I would go this far to just back down, he was crazier than I gave him credit for.

I smirked to myself, unbeknownst to him. Suzaku, noticing the look in my eyes, relaxed a bit. He knew I wasn't about to die just yet.

"You give C.C back to me, and I won't have to put a bullet in that thick head of yours. Take a step near her, and I'll soon have your blood all over my nice clothes. And we wouldn't want that, would we?" He instructed darkly.

I rotated my body slightly. And just as I thought, he wouldn't have killed me even if I was going to go to her. What a loser.

I took a few steps away from him, making about three feet's space between the two of us. I stood facing him, a glaring contest breaking out between our eyes. My smirk stayed strictly in place.

"Suzaku!" I shouted, grabbing his attention and earning a questionable look from Mao.

"…Take C.C outside." I stipulated.

Mao's mouth dropped completely open. One way or another, I was ensuring that at least C.C got away.

Suzaku grabbed C.C's arm and began leading her out, starting up a steady run.

"Wait..!!" I heard C.C interject in opposition.

"No!!" The Count growled, now attempting to aim his gun at Suzaku.

Just as I had anticipated. I plunged towards Mao, tackling him to the hard floor.

Suzaku and C.C were now halfway out the door. "Lelouch!!" She screamed and the large door swung closed.

Perfect.

I began fighting with Mao, throwing in a few punches and roughly shoving him around in an attempt to wrestle the gun out of his hand.

"I _will_ have her, Lelouch. One way or another, she's mine!" He grunted and shoved me off him.

"You don't get it, do you?" I questioned as he pinned me down, "She never loved you. She loves me. Why can't you just accept that and let her be truly happy? Why make her suffer?"

He slapped me, hard, across the face and yanked me back down by my hair.

"Because she was mine first. She belongs to me, Lelouch. She loved me first!" He replied angrily.

I wiped away some excess blood that was trickling down my mouth.

"Think about it, Lelouch." He said as he elbowed me in my throat, causing me to furiously spit out the excess blood and saliva in my mouth. "Has she ever tried to tell you about our past together? No. She didn't want to tell you because I was the one who took care of her after her family died, not you. She may think she loves you, but she truly loves me. She's told me many times."

For some reason, this started a fire in the pit of my stomach. I threw a rough punched in his gut. "You're lying." I gasped. And I realized, he was right. C.C never spoke about their past. Could she really love him?

Mao took me by my shoulders and pinned me once again against the floor. My spine was digging into the marble, my head was spinning, and I was gasping for air. He was stronger than I thought.

Then I realized, I'd let my feelings play too big of a part in this. I was believing whatever he was telling me and, true or not, they were affecting my actions. No wonder I was losing so badly.

To hell with all of this. Enough fighting over her, enough doubting our love, enough hiding like a coward. Now was the time for me to take action and I was letting it slip away. I had to believe what I knew was the truth, she did love me. I knew it. Enough letting my jealousy control me completely. It was taking its toll on my sanity all because I'd been questioning things from the beginning.

Now, I had to end it. Once and for all. I was done being jealous and done playing games.

I squirmed out of his hold and, instead of trying to take my anger and frustration out on his body, knocked the gun clear out of his hand. It slid across the floor a few feet from where we were fighting.

Try as I did to get up, Mao kept overpowering me. So, I used one of his tactics and elbowed him square in the chest.

He wheezed at the pain and pressure and I slipped out from under him. I got up on my feet and staggered over to the weapon, eyeing it like it was precious to me.

Before I could bend down to grab it, Mao grabbed me by my left leg and jerked me back down.

I hit the floor with a painful 'thud' and desperately tried to crawl over to it, though Mao was pulling me back towards him. I reached out towards it helplessly, extending my arms and fingers as far as I was physically able.

I nudged it slightly as I kicked and moved my legs in any motion to prevent Mao from dragging me back. Finally, my right hand grabbed a hold on it and I drew it to me, gripping it with both hands and allowing the Count to bring me toward him.

As I slid across the floor back to him by his own hand, my smirk returned. It at first didn't come clear to him what could possibly make me so cocky, but once I whipped out the gun and pointed it directly at his forehead, things seemed to register.

I don't know what came over me then, but I felt so powerful. For once, I felt stronger than him. For once, I wasn't the one who held all the cards. I don't know why I liked the feeling so much, but I felt like…I'd won.

"So, Mao." I spoke up. He just looked at me with fearful eyes. "Although it isn't your favorite story, I'm sure that you can recall one of the final scenes in Romeo and Juliet where {Paris and Romeo fight for Juliet's love."

He remained deathly silent and I pushed the gun further against his forehead. "Well, in the words of Romeo, Here's to my love!" I gripped the trigger like my life depended on it.

--

Outside, C.C POV

I was hyperventilating like I never had before. I held my head with my shaking hands in order to remain calm.

"Please," I begged, "take me back in there!"

"No! I promised Lelouch I would protect you." Suzaku replied.

I felt like my entire world could fall apart in a split second. I didn't want either of them to die!

"But if I could just talk to Mao, I could convince him!" I explained.

Suzaku stayed quiet.

That's when we heard the off-sound of a gunshot come from inside the castle.

I heard my heartbeat inside of my ears. That sound rang inside my head for what seemed like an eternity.

My breath caught in my throat. This had to be the scariest thing I'd ever experienced.

I felt the tears building up inside my eyelids. Did one of them actually get shot? I realized that if either one had been wounded, I'd scream and cry.

It seemed like I'd detested the Count, but that wasn't it at all. He cared for me, loved me. As did Lelouch, but still, Mao had needed me in entirely different sense. I felt like I had to be there for him, like he was there for me. May times I'd heard people say to never take someone for granted, but that's just what I'd done. I'd hurt and betrayed Mao in every way.

Suddenly, Lelouch emerged from the castle. He was alone, with a cold stare set upon his features and blood was covering him in select areas.

That was it. Mao was dead.

"Mao!!!!!!!!!!" I let my blood-curdling scream escape from my throat and broken down into a sob.

--

Lelouch POV

I walked outside, trudging past the door. I felt numb, what I had just done didn't even faze me.

C.C's scream suddenly filled the air. "Mao!!!!!!!!!!"

For some reason, reality smacked me. I looked down at my hands. They were coated in Mao's blood. It registered in my mind that I had actually just killed a man.

My body shook in terror. I stared down at my hands like I was watching myself mutate. All the stressful things that had recently happened to me were nothing like this.

Jealousy, anger, frustration, betrayal, and…murder. All these things swept through my subconscious like wildfire.

I put my hand up to my ears to block out her scream. I fell to my knees weakly.

I'd just killed someone…with my own hands; I'd taken someone's life. And that was something that I could never correct.

On my knees, I bent over. I felt like I was going to vomit.

No way could I ever fix this. And I could never make it up to C.C either. I could tell from her screaming that his death really must have taken a toll on her.

_I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…_

The only way I could find to calm myself down was that everything else was over with. I wouldn't have to suffer through any of that again.

"Its over." I kept repeating to myself, loud enough that I could block out the sound of C.C's muffled crying. "It's over…"

--

**Spider-chan**: O____o intense! And you think it ends there? Well love, it doesn't! I'll see you next time for the final chapter. (Also sorry for posting this so late, but ironically I WOULD want to update as soon as a freaking technical glitch stops ppl from logging in =.=) Ciao~


	8. Epilogue: Where The Story Ends

**Spider-chan: **I apologize for the delay of the ending, I've had crazy papers to write and a death in the fsmily to try and balance out -.- However, I could never forget you guys! If you thought the last chapter was the end, you might want your money back 'cuz this is it right heere~ ignore me .___. Ayways, here I give you the final chapter. Thank you all for the feedback and support!

--

Epilogue: A Few Years Later

Lelouch POV

"…Father?" I heard a small voice beckon through the darkness. Turning, I blindly faced my son, who was tucked neatly under his bed sheets.

Just like his mother…

"Yes, Suzaku?" I replied, leaning beside his bed.

"Will you give Momma a hug for me? She didn't seem as happy tonight." He asked, and although I couldn't see them, I could feel his big amber eyes glinting with expectation.

I chuckled and nodded. "I sure will." And with that, kissed him atop his forehead. "Goodnight, son." I whispered in his ear.

"Goodnight, Daddy!" He reiterated and sunk further below his sheets.

I smiled and strode out of the room quietly, shutting his bedroom door only enough that it remained slightly ajar.

Walking as noiselessly as I could through the small hallway that led to mine and C.C's bedroom, a few thoughts lingered in my head.

Yes, C.C and I had managed to get away from our old life and moved to a small town far away enough that no one knew our true identites. Thus, we were able to create an new start for ourselves. Within the first few months of being here, I took C.C as my wife and have loved our life ever since. Even though it wasn't nearly as glamorous as a palace, it didn't matter as long as she was mine.

Since we moved, I haven't been able to hear much about what was happening back at our original whereabouts, but I did hear talk that Suzaku, The Count's advisor, had "found" the Count dead in his quarters. The story was that he shot himself because C.C had run away, and couldn't live with the heartbreak. Therefore, Suzaku had taken my murder and made it something completely different. Yet another way that he saved us.

People from all over have searched for the missing C.C, but would never have thought to look this far. And as for me, no one noticed that I was no longer there. I wasn't nearly as important, and therefore, disappeared altogether.

Also, it has been around 7 years now, and I have not seen my best friend Suzaku. I've been able to cope with the fact that I never will. However, there are other ways that Suzaku is with me. In my memories, of course, but I aslo asked C.C when our son was born if I could name him after Suzaku. She loved the idea. After all, he's one of the main reasons why C.C and I were still together.

Thank you so much, Suzaku. I miss you, and wish you could see your nephew…

Then, my thoughts switched to my beloved son. He was the light of my life, I loved him from the day that C.C had told me she was pregnant. He was now 5 years of age, as unbelievable as it was to me. I always smiled when I looked at him, he reminded me of everything good that there was in my life. It also made me laugh when I looked at him because it reminded me of a time when C.C had complained to me that even though she had to carry him for nine months, he was my spitting image. I had to agree, even though he inherited her beautiful eyes, he looked just like me with his jet black hair, his actions, and his plae skin that resembled mine.

Sorry C.C, maybe next time…

I rounded the corner to my bedroom, a smile present on my face. I noticed my beautiful wife lying in bed, staring blankly at the ceiling.

I sat down on the bed adjacent to her. She turned on her side and faced me. My son was right, she wasn't herself tonight.

"Your son thought something was wrong with mommy, so I promised I'd give you a hug and check on you." I announced and brought her into a hug.

C.C nodded and returned the embrace. "I'm alright, just…thinking." She said.

Somehow I guessed this. "About Mao?" I asked.

She at first didn't reply. "I suppose…" She finally spoke up. "There are just certain nights when I still feel guilty."

My eyes grew downcast slightly. "I know that Mao loved you, and certainly he wanted you for himself, but don't you think he'd be happy knowing that you are happy?" I rebuttled.

"That's true…" She agreed, touching the necklace around her neck with her delicate fingers.

I placed a gentle kiss on her satin lips. "I love you."

"I love you too." She smiled.

I laid myself down on the bed and hugged her form to mine, stroking her body up and down tenderly.

She rested her head upon my chest. "Goodnight." She whispered.

"Goodnight." I murmured.

"Tell Suzaku that Mommy loves him and she's just fine." She laughed, her voice drifting.

"I'll do that." I acepted.

Within minutes of silence, I felt her body rising and falling against mine in comforting slumber.

I felt so sorry for her on nights like this, because I knew that she still blamed herself for everything. In many ways, jealousy can drive a person to do crazy things, both hateful and spiteful, and even cause the person to lose sight of themselves. This much, I'd realized because I was living proof of it.

I was jealous not only because she wasn't my fiancee, but because I knew and still do know to this day that in many ways, C.C loved him. Romantically, perhaps not, but passionately or comfortably, yes. What Mao couldn't seem to learn from all of it was that even though a person may not love you in the sense you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you withall their heart. To this day, C.C keeps the engagement ring that Mao gave to her on a necklace, and she doesn't take it off.

C.C is everything to me, and I love her dearly. Also, I know that she loved me in a sense that she didn't love Mao, and maybe that's what kept me from going totally insane. But now, I don't growl upon hearing his name, I don't feel hatred for him, I have come to terms with the man I killed. It isn't a matter of winning, it's a matter of love and respect for C.C. And I will love her until the day I die.

I've heard it said that jealousy can drive a person mad, and I've found it to very much ring true. However, one must know where to stop it to keep sane. I found murder to be the final straw for me, and I'll never go back. C.C isn't property, she's my love. And one mustn't lose sight of that.

From now on, I have to work on being the best father and husband I can be and not let other emotions mix in with love. I'm starting from this moment on and not looking back.

And that's where our complicated story ends.

--

**Spider-chan: **Good, ne? Bad? Idk, hope you liked! Thank you all again so much! Owari.


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